Werner Herzog asks the question in his 2016 documentary “Does the internet dream of itself?” He says “sometimes, it’s better to pose a question that may not get an answer”. The internet’s self-awareness may not be theoretical tho.
I’m listening to the rain and the ambulances. We’re 18 months past the first spotting of Covid-19 in the United States. Six months ago the vaccine distribution began but only half the country took it and now there’s 150,000 new cases of coronavirus a day. About fifteen hundred of those people will die, so.
I’m sitting on a spare mattress in a spare room of my new apartment in Crown Heights. Ize might move in with a friend to fill the two spare rooms but we’ll see, I still have to meet his friend. It’s probably not best for me to live alone at this stage. Too much anxiety.
I’m realizing how oftentimes I initiate sex to quiet my mind. My mind is relentless, you know? It’s like the fuckin Buddhists said, always going, always mind — down tunnels and into tubes; sewer water over-fused; fusion is a pipe-dream but people keep writing about it.
I’m on 15 mg Prozac and my psychiatrist recommended I up it to 20, but I said I’d think about it and I still don’t know. Weed is honestly better for anxiety than the Prozac. I think the Prozac helps with depression but after a year of being on it I’m not super sure.
Lil Wayne has mental health issues, apparently, but maybe he’s just really good at being with the times.
I think about the reasons my parents got divorced. My mom told me this story about how on her birthday, my Dad got home from work early, and she thought he was going to surprise her and spend time with her and all that but instead he just laid down on the couch and said “can you bring me an icepack? I have the worst migraine.”
What category of malady is hypochondria?
What malady of the mind is a Self? Does the internet make us new, or reflect our old? Will these data-packets get arranged beautifully, like a plastic bottle altar, or will they be discarded — and never seen again. No — no, I tell myself. Spectrums, not binaries. That’s the thing isn’t it? In the future it’ll be 3D graphs; no—4D fields; no—5D topographies — not ‘ol antiquated Spectrums.
Is there a corner of the internet that no one has ever seen? Is there a website no one has ever visited? Maybe all the spiders, web-scrapers, data-collecting agents, robots, fake accounts, maybe all of them get together at an empty IP and rap: spitting out ten thousands lines per millisecond, each of them trying to one-up the other by remixing and reverbing each others’ source code. The lines would be flying by but there wouldn’t even be a GUI for humans to see. The music would be electronic. The vibes endlessly chill.